There are times in life when happiness is an elusive concept. Circumstances that cause great pain or distress, such as a death, divorce or other traumatic event, can make it very difficult to feel truly happy much of the time. In these situations, time is the best healer, and most of us simply have to ride out the bad times until we begin to feel better.
But what about the rest of the days we spend moping or worrying? The truth is that sometimes happiness can be a conscientious choice we make, one that improves the quality of our life without changing our circumstances. This article will provide ways to choose happiness by altering our response to situations rather than the situations themselves.
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Examine Your Beliefs
Before you can choose happiness, it is helpful to know what is interfering with that state in the first place. Examine your beliefs that might lead to feeling of discontentment, frustration or anger. A thorough examination just might reveal happiness-blocking beliefs you didn’t even realize you harbored. Once you know the culprits, you can begin the work of restructuring or discarding beliefs that keep you from living as happily as possible.
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Define Your Needs
We all have needs in life, including food, shelter and love. There are also personal needs that may differ from person to person, such as socialization, career opportunities or family time. When these needs are not adequately met, it will be much more difficult to live in a consistently happy state. Make a list of your basic needs and then determine if those needs are getting met consistently or if there is something you can do to meet them more proficiently.
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Alter Your Expectations
This is a biggie if you are really serious about choosing happiness in your life. The expectations we set for people and situations dramatically impact how we respond to them. If our expectations are consistently too high, the result is a life filled with frustration, disappointment and anger. The good news is that expectations can be changed to fit better with the reality of the circumstances. When you lower or alter your expectations appropriately, you will be more likely to live in a state of contentment rather than disappointment.
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Let Go of Anger
Anger that continues to simmer under the surface can raise our stress levels and even lead to physical disorders. It can be difficult to get over a situation where someone hurt you or treated you unfairly, but the only one who suffers when you hold onto the pain is you. Our emotions are not reactions that we cannot control; instead they are attitudes and feelings that we can choose much of the time. If you are angry with a person or situation, let go of your emotions and move on. Happiness is sure to follow.
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Be Accountable
Many of us are guilty for blaming others when life doesn’t go our way. However, taking responsibility for our own actions is one of the first steps on the road to contentment. When we take responsibility, we are taking control of our lives, rather than letting other people or situations control us. A feeling of control makes it easier for us to adjust our expectations to our circumstances and adopt a feeling of contentment, no matter what life might throw our way.
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Be Thankful
We live in a country where most people have their needs more than adequately met, yet we are also one of the least content cultures in the country. Why? Perhaps the reason lies in our lackadaisical approach to gratitude. Spend less time worrying about what you don’t have and more time giving thanks for what you do enjoy. An attitude of gratitude is an important feature of a happy life.
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Be Generous
Those that don’t have much to be thankful for can often benefit from a helping hand. Whether you take a meal to a sick neighbor or volunteer once a month at the local soup kitchen, giving to others is a great way to nurture a content heart. Giving freely makes us feel good and reminds us of all we have to be thankful for.
Happiness is often touted as a feeling, but more and more people are realizing that this so-called feeling is an actual choice that anyone can consciously make. Whether you are reeling in self-pity, discontentment or frustration, these tips can help you transform your life into one filled with happiness.
