Conflict is a natural part of life, but unresolved conflict can create a host of problems and permanently damage relationships. When you find yourself at odds with someone in your life, whether it is a mate, friend or coworker, there are constructive ways to manage and resolve the conflict that will leave your relationship intact. Utilize these seven ways to resolve conflict constructively and peacefully.
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Remain Calm
What is it about a disagreement with another person that instantly gets our blood boiling? Unfortunately, anger is rarely the best response if you are really interested in conflict resolution. Instead of reacting to disagreements with anger, try keeping your emotions in check and letting rationality take over the situation. In some cases, that may mean saying nothing at the beginning of the conflict. Other times, it may be a matter of not overreacting to what someone has said or done. Take a deep breath, count to 10 and think through your response to the situation before reacting.
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Listen to the Other Point of View
Nothing takes the wind out of another’s anger like having the ability to voice their point of view. Instead of immediately jumping in with your opinion on a subject, try asking the other person what he thinks. Listen to what he has to say and repeat his points back to him to ensure you understood him correctly. When the other person is allowed to express his opinions, he will be much more likely to listen calmly to your perspective as well. You might even gain knowledge about the situation that you hadn’t considered previously.
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Admit when You are Wrong
If you say something in anger or voice an opinion based on wrong information, admit your error. If your actions have offended the other person in some way, apologize for the offense. This shows humility and a willingness to work toward a resolution that will benefit everyone. If the other person believes your opinion or information is incorrect, don’t immediately combat their point. It is much more constructive to respond with, “You may be right. Let’s explore the facts together.”
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Use Humor when Possible
Nothing diffuses a potentially tense situation like laughter, but make sure your humor isn’t shared at the expense of another. Sarcasm is a natural expression of irritation or anger, but it usually puts the other person down in some way. Instead, try finding something about your own actions or opinions to laugh at, and you may find the other person laughing with you rather than arguing with you.
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Don’t Make it Personal
If you and a friend are arguing about a particular topic, don’t make the argument personal by calling his own intelligence or feelings into question. When you respond to conflict with name-calling and insults, you cultivate an atmosphere of distrust and resentment. That is hardly the environment in which conflict resolution is harvested. Instead of talking about the other person’s actions, focus on how those actions made you feel. If you are too angry to converse with the other person constructively, take some time to cool off before attempting conflict resolution.
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Compromise Creatively
When compromise is called for, don’t limit yourselves in your options. Sometimes creative thinking is the best road to conflict resolution. Even governments understand that the most effective way of coming to an agreement may not be the first solution you suggest. Explore all of your possible options before deciding with conflict resolution option will work the best for you. Brainstorm solutions together and then work through your list until you find the option that will benefit everyone best.
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Stop when Emotions Heat Up
Sometimes despite your best efforts, conflicts begin to careen out of control. Tempers flares, voices are raised, and things are said that only serve to hurt and insult the other person. When you sense your immediate conflict is heading in this potentially dangerous direction, the best course of action may be to suspend conversation until everyone involved has calmed down. Take a time out, go to your separate corners and attempt conflict resolution once more when everyone is ready to try again.
Conflict may be an inevitable part of any relationship, but there is no reason why it must get in the way of a harmonious union. By keeping emotions in check, listening to alternative points of view and working together to come to a solution that is agreeable to everyone, you can work out potential disagreements and come out stronger for doing so.
