Self confidence is a characteristic that can take you far in life. Unfortunately, it is also not a feature that comes naturally to most people. The good news is that you can build your self esteem over time, using a few easy tools that confident people already know. Capitalize on these five fabulous confidence builders to boost your esteem and prepare you for success in life.
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Monitor Your Self-Talk
We all talk to ourselves mentally throughout the day, and according to many experts, the large majority of what we tell ourselves is negative. The power of positive thinking is more than just the title of a best seller; it is the best way to boost your self confidence. Instead of thinking, “I can’t” or “I shouldn’t,” tell yourself, “I can” and “I will.” You might be amazed at just how effective this small step can be in shifting the way you look at yourself. If you keep telling yourself you are a capable, confident individual, you just might start believing it.
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Focus on Others
Many crises of confidence stem from the fact that we are too focused on how we look to others. Instead of worrying about yourself in a social situation, try focusing on the needs of the others in the group. Pay someone else a legitimate compliment about the outfit she is wearing or the last comment she made in the conversation. Ask someone what he thinks of a current news event or the latest election. Find out someone’s favorite hobby; ask what he does for a living or if he has any pets. People love to talk about themselves, and once the attention is focused away from you, it will be easier to relax and enjoy the situation.
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Consider Your Physical Appearance
Of course, your physical appearance does not reveal the “real” you underneath your latest outfit or fabulous shoes. However, we all tend to feel better about ourselves when we know we look our best. This doesn’t mean you have to shop at the expensive, trendy boutique around the corner to boost your self esteem. It does mean that spending an extra bit of time on your appearance when you are heading out to a potentially uncomfortable situation will help you feel more confident of your own abilities. Once you are appropriately dressed, make the most of your dapper appearance. Remember to stand up tall, offer a firm handshake and look people in the eye when you are talking to them. Even if you don’t feel confident, you will convey a confident air to those around you with these simple gestures.
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Identify Your Strengths
Everyone has strengths as well as weaknesses; it’s just that confident people are more adept at identifying their strengths than the rest of us. To determine where your talents lie, ask a trusted friend or family member to help you identify your greatest strengths. You can even make a list of the things at which you are particularly good skilled, which you can refer back to periodically to boost your self esteem. Once you know what your strengths are, try to use them at every opportunity. For example, if you have a head for numbers, offer to take on the accounting duties for your school’s parent-teacher organization. If writing is your gift, volunteer to write the newsletter or produce the correspondence for your office. If you are unsure of your gifts, take a class to help you refine and find practical uses for your talents.
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Be Thankful for What You Have
An attitude of gratitude can go far in boosting one’s self esteem. In many cases, a lack of confidence is rooted in the many things you don’t have, compared to your family, friends and neighbors. Maybe you don’t live in the biggest house, drive the flashiest car or wear the trendiest clothes, and it makes you feel like less than those who seem to be better off. However, when you focus on the many blessings you do enjoy, you can overcome those feelings of inadequacy, putting you on the same playing field as those around you. Self esteem may seem like it comes naturally to other people, but many of them may have simply learned the necessary tools to boost their own confidence in a variety of situations. Self esteem is much more than a state of mind; it is a daily habit that gets easier every time you successfully make it through a professional or social situation. With these tips in mind, you can face nearly everything in life with self confidence and grace.
