Posts from ‘December, 2009’

1. Eye contact

   Maintain eye contact by directly looking at the person you are speaking to. Remain relaxed, but not overly intense. Too much intense staring can make the person feel uncomfortable.

2. Body posture

   Maintain a relaxed, attentive posture. Keep your hands loosely clasped or on your lap. Keep legs parallel or comfortably crossed. Occasional fluid movement of arms and hands are okay. however, avoid repeated shaking of legs, as this can be distracting.

3. Head/facial movement

   Occasionally nod your head affirmatively. Use appropriate facial responses.

1. Self-awareness

   This is the ability to recognize a feeling as it happens. This is also being able to answer the following two questions objectively: What am I doing? Why am I doing it?

2. Managing mood

   This is being able to control how we feel, how long, and how we demonstrate the feelings we have. When situations are emotionally difficult, it is important to reinterpret the situation in a realistic, more optimistic light. Some ways to do so is to engage in self-care such as meditation, prayer, relaxation techniques, exercise, and rest.

There is one acronym “BULLETS” used by psychologist Buckland and Scott that is helpful when dealing with people who are angry.

Be seated.

Place yourself in a relaxed seated position and ask the other person to do the same. This slows down behavior reactiveness.

Use the person’s name.

Address the person who is angry by their name in a calm and low tone of voice.

Lower your voice.

Do not verbally react. Lower the volume of your voice.

Listen.

And also validate/acknowledge what the person has to say.

Eliminate humor.