There are many different types of domestic abuse: child abuse, elder abuse, and domestic violence. This blog will be a continuation of the last blog, focusing on today we’ll focus on the last type of domestic abuse: domestic violence.
Stage one- Tension building
Abuser: feels edgy, moody, is easily agitated, unpredictable, and shows heightened anxiety
Victim: feels like they are walking on egg shells and begins to fear abuser’s edgy mood. They monitor the abuser’s behavior carefully and waits for violence to explode. The victim feels escalating fear and tension as the abuser exerts power and increases control.
Stage two- Trigger
The trigger is the excuse the abuser uses to act out against the victim. A trigger may be anything and is part of the abuse. It can be insignificant like a misplaced book, a piece of burned toast, a look or a wrinkle in a shirt.
Stage three-Explosion
This is the violent stage with an explosion of verbal, emotional and/or physical abuse
It is the act of violence against the victim. Physical violence includes pushing, throwing, kicking, pinching, biting, holding, breaking bones, assault with a weapon, burning, constraining, etc. There is also verbal or nonverbal abuse which includes intimidation, destruction of victim’s personal property, violence to an object, yelling or screaming, name calling, constant harassment, criticizing victim’s accomplishments, excessive possessiveness, saying hurtful things while under the influence, making the victim feel there is no way out of the relationship. Other violence that erupts in this stage is sexual abuse, economic abuse (withholding economic resources such as money or credit cards, stealing from or defrauding a partner of money or assets, exploiting the intimate partner’s resources for personal gain, withholding physical resources such as food, clothes, necessary medications, preventing partner from working or choosing an occupation) and spiritual abuse (using partner’s religious or spiritual beliefs to manipulate them, preventing partner from practicing their religious beliefs, ridiculing the other person’s religious beliefs, forcing the children to be rared in a faith that the partner has not agreed to).
Stage four- Honeymoon
Abuser: apologizes, blames the victim for losing his temper. The abuser promises never to do it again and may even buy gifts.
Victim: The victim often still loves the abuser. They may feel the need to stay for one of many other reasons and the cycle continues.
Stage five-Fear, Hope and Denial
The victim experiences fear during the Tension Building and the Explosion stages. They may feel a sense of hope during the Honeymoon phase. During the entire cycle, the victim can be in denial that anything is going to happen, denial while being abused and denial that it will happen again.
If you or someone you know is affected by Domestic Violence, break the cycle by calling:
NATIONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE:1-800-799-7233 (1-800-799-SAFE), 1-800-787-3224 (TTY)
Call 911
Help through email: ndvh@ndvh.org
RESOURCES:
National Domestic Violence Hotline
U.S. Department of Health and Human Services
Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence
Family Violence Prevention Fund
