Public Spark

Whether it be the death of a loved one, a close friend, a relative or a celebrity you idolized (like the recent death of Heath Ledger), coping with death can be difficult. Although death is inevitable and a natural part of life, there are are many feelings that can come up that can be overwhelming.

There are five stages of grieving

1. Shock and denial

   Even if you have known or prepared for the death of someone, you can still feel a shock. This is often described as a numbness and can bring about confusion, panic, and disorganization. You may also think or not want to accept the reality that the person has indeed passed on.

2. Guilt

   You may feel like blaming yourself for the loss.

3. Anger

   This is a normal feeling and needs to be expressed in an appropriate way such as exercising, crying, and talking.

4. Depression

   This is feeling great sadness, loneliness and hopelessness as you start to miss the person.

5. Peace and acceptance

   Even if it may feel like eternity, peace and acceptance do come. The goal is to remember your special person with joy and to keep their memories alive.

These are some things that you can do to cope and heal

• Accept the pain of grief and your feelings

  As hard as it is, allow yourself to be with your feelings. When feelings become too overwhelming it is okay to ask for help and be gentle to yourself.

• Receive support

  Support and be supported by all of the members that have known the person. Staying in touch with friends, while you are experience grief can be a powerful healing tool. Share and remember special memories of the person. There are also support groups that you can attend to share your experience and find mutual understanding of what you are going through.

• Find balance

  Taking care of yourself is important. Try to be balanced in getting rest, eating, and exercising. Helping yourself physically can support you emotionally.

• Seek comfort of tradition/ religion/ cultural customs

  No matter what the denomination, certain traditions or rituals can help in facilitating healing. Funerals can symbolize one of the traditions in helping you cope.

• Normal routine

  Resuming your usual activities, can help ease back into routine life. It is important not to be overactive as it is still important to heal yourself emotionally and not burn out.

• Turn grief into creative energy

  You can help others, write about your feelings, paint, sing, or even create a ritual commemorating the person you lost.

On an earlier post, I also wrote an article on how to talk with your children about death.