Public Spark

Meditation

This is an invaluable technique that I use not only for relaxation, but to free my mind, without the clutters and thoughts of everyday life. I can make more effective decisions and feel more confident.

Physical space

This is anywhere that you can feel calm in a given area. My favorite place is usually by the window in my room. I have a cushion in the corner and that’s where I meditate.

Time away from people

I am an extreme introvert, which means I get most of my energy from being alone. However, I still like being around people and helping people, which is why I am in the social worker profession. I do have to be aware that I lose energy when I am around a lot of people for a long period of time. It’s important that I factor in time to be with myself.

Creating boundaries

This is important when dealing with people both professionally and personally. During my internship, I worked at a methadone clinic, which services clients with a heroin addiction. In counseling clients, the most valuable element was to have boundaries because most clients do not know what it means to have them. I had to set an example for them. If I didn’t have boundaries, I could be easily manipulated, fatigued from their troubles, and incapable of helping them. The tools of having boundaries, was an important step in helping with their addiction and gaining control of their lives. It is also important to have this in your personal life. I have also found that boundaries don’t always have to be the same. For example, I will go out to the restaurant with my parents, but I will never do that with my clients. As for friends, I have different boundaries for everyone. Sometimes I learned the hard way that “friends” could ask a lot of you and it no longer becomes a friendship, but a burden. I believe friendships work both ways. I have learned to set more stiff boundaries to my “friends” who only come to me for homework questions, rides, employment opportunities, etc. Boundaries are there to protect you and to help you in making wise decisions.

Be flexible

There are times where you might feel so overwhelmed with work or family or friends, so it’s always good to have a back up plan. For instance, there was a time where I just couldn’t “hang” with some of the people and I wanted to leave. I made sure I had a car and excused myself. Had I been there I would have been depressed and everyone would know. I would have ruined relationships before they started. I excused myself politely and was in a happy mood, left everyone and a happy mood.

Imagining a bubble

I tend to be visual and love imagination so this works for me. During my second year internship at Kaiser, I had clients getting angry and this was one of the most difficult aspects to deal with. My supervisor then told me that she imagines having a bubble and so when the clients get angry she imagines it bouncing back. Therefore, it is easier to not to take it personal because it most situations especially at the hospital it really isn’t about you. They are usually angry at having the disease, not knowing, and the social worker just happens to be there. The bubble is one way of creating space and protecting yourself.

Go somewhere to give you space

I love going to the beach. It is so vast and limitless. For those that hate the ocean or are not near it, there are parks, relaxation fellowships centers (no religious denominations), gardens, etc. It’s nice to change scenery.

Believe that you have control over your space because you do

It is easy to believe that your current situation is permanent. You do have control to make changes everyday so you can have your ideal space.

Motivate yourself to have more space

Right now, in my life, because my space is restricted it is actually pushing me to work harder, buy real estate, achieve my goals. Always strive for more.

Evaluate your space and make appropriate decisions

If it feels restricted ask yourself questions, as silly as it may be, it may save a lot of heart ache. Is it the friends around you? coworkers? bosses? not enough time for yourself? not enough time with your friends? not enough self-care? do I need to ask for help? is my house too small with too many people? my job restricting my life? do I need time away from kids? do I need to spend more time with my kids? These are some questions to consider.