Public Spark

Whether it be your parents, siblings, significant other, roommates, spouse, friends, there comes a time in everyone’s life where we have to live with someone. With so many different personalities what are the best ways to live peacefully? Living together in a restricted amount of space is hard so how do you do it without many conflicts.

I am an only child. I did not have to share a room growing up although I lived in a small house with my parents and grandmother. It was in college, that I had my first roommate experience. This taught me a lot about myself, as well as positive ways of living with different people.

• Identify schedules

  Especially when you are sharing bathrooms or kitchens, etc. identify your schedules. A classic example is “you want a party, but your roommate needs to be at home studying for a final for the next day.” Just by asking and communicating your general schedules, can help to omit an argument.

• Identify roles

  Sometimes it may be beneficial to identify roles in taking care of the house. For example, outlining who’s going to do the chores for the week, can help to sustain an equal work load. With my 2nd and 3rd year roommates we divided up the chores so this omitted any conflicts about each not doing enough.

• Learn to disagree

  This is one of the things I continue to struggle with. You are bound to have differences with others because you’ve grown up in different households and you have different values. It’s okay to not agree with everything another person says and it is okay to express opinions. Which leads to the next point.

• Pick your battles

  You can disagree with everything they do. For example, I had a really difficult roommate in the 1st year of college. There were many things I just couldn’t stand. I told her that there were things I just couldn’t tolerate. These included the fact that I didn’t appreciate her boyfriend or friends jumping on my bed when I wasn’t there or for her to look through my closet without my permission. However I let go of such things as her side being extremely untidy. Although I would have preferred it to be neat, I had to pick my battles.

• Be honest

  Identify first hand what you cannot stand. During my college dorm years, I made it clear certain things shouldn’t be touched. My pet peeve is people borrowing my things without asking and never putting it back. I like things neat. I will respect your space so long as you respect mine.

Decide is it worth it and are there any other options? I decided not to move in with my 1st year roommate the second year. It was a great choice because the following years, I had roommates that had similar values like me.